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When was the last time you watched a sunset? When was the last time a five-minute conversation turned into a two-hour one? When was the last time you narrated a story to your children with complete calm and without haste? Has it ever happened to you to feel that you do not control time but that time has full control of you?
We are invested in a culture that pays tribute to the fast, to the easy, moving away from the enjoyment and joy that is being able to perform each action in a slow way, such as enjoying each bite of your favorite food or sitting for hours watching how they play your children without checking the computer or cell phone. This is what the Slow crianza or Slow partenting, a model of simmering.
She reflected, has footholds in the Slow movement, which was born as a counter response to the opening of a McDonald's in Piazza di Spagna in the city of Rome, thus creating the organization Slow food, oriented to the recovery of the cultural roots of Italian food, where the pleasure of eating without haste was prioritized. This cultural current focuses on calming or relentecer human activities to be able to control time and savor life.
This slow movement was expanding the horizons reaching areas such as clothing, tourism, cities and Slow parenting. I want to refer to the latter given its vast wealth to learn to calm down and be surprised by the adventure of being parents.
When we manage to stop the rush in parenting, innate skills emerge in the bond with our children, which are related to intuition and empathy. And this is necessary because we want to savor life by connecting with the present by focusing attention on the everyday experiences of others within the here and now.
- Avoid comparison: many parents tend to compare their children with other children, however, this is a mistake since it can directly affect self-esteem and security. Do not forget that each child is different and has a different rate of development.
- Do not overstimulate children: early stimulation is all the rage. Although it has undeniable benefits, it also has the danger of overstimulating and not learning to read the educational needs that children present in those areas that have weaknesses or that require greater help. This is more graphic by giving us this example: If the trees are put more water than they need, their roots are likely to rot.
- Do not rush development in children: The invitation is to learn to surprise ourselves with the achievements that our children are acquiring and not to become anxious about what they cannot yet achieve, experiencing development as a marathon race. It is necessary to respect the growth rate, because development is not a linear process, but rather a spiral one. This means that sometimes children will go backward in the course of development in order to move forward. For example, to walk it is necessary to crawl, but even when they have already started to walk, they sometimes crawl again; because they need to seek security in the actions that bring them security.
- Learn to flow. Positive psychology investigated the mental state when a person is completely immersed in the activity they perform, which I call under the concept of Flow, in which it consists of completely losing the notion of time and the process of the activity prevails more than the objective. It was found that the more flow activities, the people increased their state of satisfaction and happiness. During parenting it is essential to be able to discover what actions make you flow, this time being crucial to relax and avoid stressing ourselves with the tasks of parenting. It can be jogging, cooking, painting, drawing, riding a bike. The possibilities are endless!
- Disconnect from technology: While you are with your children, forget about the mobile phone, the computer, the email and the television. Learn to melt into "being receptive" for your child. This means being able to grasp the subtleties of your accomplishments as well as the skills that need further stimulation. In this way, it will be easier for you to get to know him, as well as help him manage his negative emotions.
- Build a journal of serenity: it is essential to calm down to calm down. From this premise, it is crucial to manage strategies that as parents help us to know how to deal with concerns. From this perspective, being able to make this diary allows us to give ourselves a time of serenity and calm. The idea is to be able to record all our fears and worries, so that later we can find an hour a day to read and think about them. In this way, by dedicating a limited time to them during the day, they will stop being fuzzy thoughts and thus increase well-being and creativity to be able to solve them.
But remember the following before starting any of these tips. It is important that you want to contemplate a sunset again, or have that talk for more than five minutes or want - definitely - to stop being a slave of time and feel free if it consumes your present. What the Slow Crianza movement seeks is that you once again feel what it means to live again and see how your child enjoys this fact with you and those close to you.
You can read more articles similar to Slow parenting or slow parenting. Keys to simmering, in the On-site Learning category.