Children who do not accept orders

Children who do not accept orders

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Surely we all know children who do not accept orders and who continually challenge and ignore what we ask of them. They are challenging, difficult children, who test our patience, our ability to "endure", with whom "recipes" do not work, and it seems that nothing works ... What do we do with children who do not accept orders?

These behaviors can be normal in children according to their stage of development and are managed with appropriate educational and family guidelines, such as establishing firm and appropriate rules and limits, not punishing everything the child does and rewarding appropriate behaviors, ignoring tantrums , etc...

On some occasions (the least) these challenging behaviors are the result of some type of alteration or syndrome that alters the development of children (for example, impulsive children or with ADHD usually have behavior problems), but, removing these cases, the origin of These behaviors can be in the child himself, (such as the child's temperament or character, his personality, his capacity for tolerance to frustration) and on the other hand, another important factor is in the family educational styles, (some in some guidelines ineffective or inadequate educational programs, very permissive or very authoritarian parents ...).

Some of the characteristics or traits that can define this type of conduct disorder are:

- A hostile and oppositional behavior that lasts over time.

- Gets angry and argues with adults.

- Actively defies adults or refuses to comply with their demands.

- Annoys other people, (classmates, teachers, friends ...)

- He does not accept his mistakes and blames others for his behavior.

- He is touchy, spiteful, vindictive ...

Furthermore, there are also problems in the social and academic sphere. They misbehave in class, have problems with classmates, teachers, caregivers, etc ...

Even so, in order to "diagnose" a child as an oppositionist, it is necessary for him to be examined and evaluated by a professional psychologist who is an expert in childhood and adolescence.

Oppositionist children may be "passive," that is, they do not consistently obey, or they may be aggressive and hostile to authority figures or peers. In general, they are children who do not accept norms and limits, challenge and disobey, ignore "authority".

The origin, as we said above, is a mixture of temperament and character of the child, inadequate educational guidelines or family and contextual factors of the child.

Some guidelines that we have to take into account when raising children are:

- Put limits on children's behaviors and teach them that their actions have consequences, (more or less "pleasant" for them).

- Be constant and consistent in our behavior with our children.

- Listen to them and understand that tantrums and anger are normal and even necessary in development, the important thing is to know how to handle them.

- Understand that rules and routines are necessary for children, they give order to the world around them.

- Punishing in excess is as harmful for them as allowing them everything, we must seek balance.

In cases in which disobedient and challenging behaviors go beyond what we can consider "normal" in a child, we may be facing a clinical disorder, oppositional defiant disorder.

- Avoid fights and confrontations with the child because we make them see that they have control.

- Be constant in the consequences of transgressing the rules, but avoiding over-punishment and punishing according to our degree of frustration or anger generated by the behavior, as we encourage the challenging behavior to be maintained.

- Reinforce the positive aspects of the behavior of children who do not accept orders.

- The consequences (all, positive and negative) must be immediate. The more immediate the consequence of a behavior, the more effective it will be as an intervention that favors control

- Both the father and the mother must give the same answer and must previously plan the action against possible misconduct.

In any case, it is essential that, when the child's behavior exceeds "normality", the situation lasts for a considerable time and we do not get it, we go to a professional who guides us and helps us analyze the origin of the problem to redirect it and correct these behaviors in time, since in most cases the intervention of the expert is necessary both with the families and sometimes with the child himself.

You can read more articles similar to Children who do not accept orders, in the category of Conduct on site.

Video: Egregores And Pendulums (July 2022).


  1. Anyon

    What words ...

  2. Moogull

    Be direct.

  3. Evan

    Sorry to interfere, but, in my opinion, this topic is no longer relevant.

  4. Pwyll

    I have no doubt about that.

  5. Tojagal

    Understandably, thank you for your assistance in this matter.

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