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Children of permissive parents versus children of authoritarian parents

Children of permissive parents versus children of authoritarian parents



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There are many types of parents, although perhaps we can easily recognize two opposing 'schools': permissive parents versus authoritarian parents. While the former base their education on the freedom of the child as an absolute priority, the latter insist on showing who is boss at home.

The ideal would be to find a middle ground, but the harsh reality is that these two types of excessively permissive or authoritarian mothers and fathers exist, and that their children, to the extent that they strive to maintain their educational system, grow up determined shape. Here you will find the difference between these two educational 'schools', the definitive differences between children of permissive parents versus children of authoritarian parents.

Obviously this cannot be applied to all cases, because there are always nuances between these two educational systems, but it is true that most children of permissive parents and most children of authoritarian parents share some (or all) of these characteristics in the long run. Here are the differences between children of permissive parents versus children of authoritarian parents:

1. Children of permissive parents: Permissive parents are those who base their education on offering more freedom and autonomy to their children; They are complacent parents who cater to children's whims and do not want to deprive them of anything. When we refer to permissive parents, they are not parents who impose rules and limits but who from time to time decide to give them more freedom. We refer to parents who try to reason the rules (they never say 'No', but ... 'I won't let you do this because' ...). They are very affectionate parents who bet on good communication with their children and try to reach an agreement with them. They do not use physical punishment and they try to make their home a democracy where children also have a voice and vote. And yes, the children of permissive parents can develop all these types of behaviors in the long run ...

- Very independent and autonomous. This is a virtue, without a doubt. So much freedom makes the children more independent.

- High self-steem. Parents trust them. They feel an important part of the home. His self-esteem skyrockets. But sometimes it can go too far. Many of these children can manifest arrogance.

- Problems controlling impulses. So much freedom gives them wings to show their impulses without so much limitation, which causes them some trouble controlling anger or tantrums. Without limits or rules at home, they can develop behavior problems.

- Problems relating to others. If since childhood they have not found limits and rules, if they have been given everything ... they will not know how to face problems when they arrive.

- Little effort and perseverance. Permissive parents usually grant all the whims of their children. Result? Children who do not know what effort and perseverance is. Lazy children who will not know how to organize their time because a routine was never imposed on them. This will create more frustration in the long run because they will not be able to achieve many of their goals.

- Little tolerance for frustration. Granting all the wishes of the child and letting him feel the same as his parents will prevent him from dealing with problems when they come. The day they realize that you can't have everything, that they don't always let you be egalitarian, that you have to obey a series of rules, they won't be able to cope with frustration.

- Little patient children. They are usually children who want everything instantly. Their parents indulge in their whims ... why should they wait?

2. Children of authoritarian parents: Authoritarian parents are very clear about who is boss at home. A kind of tyranny reigns in their home where the parents dictate the rules and they must be respected. They are inflexible and do not allow children to participate. They just have to obey. If they don't, they bet on punishment. Your children can eventually be like this:

- Self-demanding and demanding:A lot is required of them. They do not want to disappoint their parents and they become very self-demanding children, but they will also know how to make demands on others.

- They value effort and perseverance: As long as they do not disappoint their parents, they will work hard to achieve their goals. They will understand that effort is paramount and also perseverance to achieve a goal.

- Low self-esteem. Authoritarian parents do not let their children have a say in any of the house rules. This creates low self-confidence in your children and lowers their self-esteem.

- Withdrawn or rebellious. Two possible reactions to the strict imposition of rules. In some cases, children take it on and become submissive and withdrawn children. In other cases, children will try to escape the rules and will manifest it in the form of constant rebellion.

- Fearful and liars. Many of these parents use punishment, even physical. This causes fear in children, fear, but in the long run it can cause them to seek to evade punishment. How? Lying. They will find in the lie their table of salvation.

- Aggressive. If his parents used aggressiveness (verbal or physical) with him, they will learn to do the same, and they will tend to reproduce that pattern with their peers.

- Problems relating to other children. If the parents of these children do not show affection to them and remain distant and cold, how are they going to be able to generate empathy? They will not know how to control their emotions and will have problems relating to others.

- Dependence in adolescence. When a series of norms and limits are imposed in an authoritarian way so strictly, in adolescence, the child will not know how to face his own autonomy. You will need someone to guide you, just like when you were a child. It will show emotional problems.

You can read more articles similar to Children of permissive parents versus children of authoritarian parents, in the category of On-site Education.


Video: Authoritarian vs Authoritative vs Permissive Parenting Style (August 2022).