Which is better: a perfect child or a happy child?

Which is better: a perfect child or a happy child?

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A friend told me that in her daughter's class there are three students who have a high academic level, one of the girls who assiduously got very good grades, cried bitterly (with only 10 years old) because the other two had obtained an A and she , this time, a notable. This seems absurd, is something that is worrying. How is it possible that this girl cannot enjoy her academic achievements or that a slightly lower grade is a great upset and sadness for her?

I wonder if a happy child with acceptable grades is better than a bright child who is always competing and is not able to savor success or be satisfied with what has been achieved with his effort. Nor does it seem healthy to me that classmates are not seen as adventure companions and friends, but as rivals or adversaries. I believe that behind many of these feelings and attitudes are parents who are extremely demanding of their children, parents who, perhaps with good intentions, try to enhance their children's abilities, but who demand impossible perfection from them. No one in this life can only experience success! We also have to prepare our children for failure and for overcoming any setback with a positive and courageous attitude.

Our children should know the value of effort and joy, without paying attention only to the results obtained (not always the person with the most intellectual capacities is the one who best manages life). The most wonderful tree does not always produce good fruit. The pruning of the branches, the fertilizer, the rain are essential conditions to collect good fruit, we must know how to provide our children with this care and savor the fruits of effort together.

We should not pressure children by demanding continuous successes, shamefully treating failures or making constant comparisons. If we start looking, we will always find someone taller, more handsome and smarter. Let's look at ourselves in the mirror and measure our children with the same standard that we do. Let's boost our children's self-esteem, rewarding their effort, valuing their work, stimulating their desire to learn, helping them in their frustrations and walking with them with understanding and affection. Our son must know that for us he is always the best.

Patro Gabaldon. Copywriter

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